cool air

Today was scallops and asparagus, arugula salad, wine, and chocolate cake with fresh whipped cream. Today was about making plans. It was walking home and feeling the air- the crisp San Francisco air, air that is unlike the air I grew up with in that it does not represent a specific season. It is an air with a permanence, like a Sharpie. It is cool and fresh and your own. And his own. And hers. And it gives you a sense of individuality and community all at once. Like this city in general. Sometimes you feel isolated and connected in the same breath, and it's a weird sensation. And, it's one of the many things about this place that makes me feel things deep in my bones. Feeling is brave, terrifying, and vital. Feeling is accepting who you are and the world around you. It's being present and making peace. It's not always possible, but when I can, I try to let everything melt away, just slide right off my shoulder, so that I can feel myself feeling, just for a moment.